Why you avoid the email you have to send

There is usually one. A reply you owe a colleague, a message to a friend, a form that needs sending. It sits on the list for days, and the strange part is that it would take about four minutes. So why is it so hard to start?

Procrastination is mostly about feelings

It is tempting to think of procrastination as poor time management. For many everyday tasks it is closer to a feeling problem. The task brings up something unpleasant: worry about getting the tone wrong, fear of a reply, irritation, uncertainty about what to say. Putting it off is a way of feeling better right now, at the cost of feeling worse later.

That is useful, because it points to a different set of tools. A better calendar will not help with dread. Naming what the task is stirring up often does.

Five questions to read the avoidance

1. What exactly am I avoiding: the task, or what might happen afterwards?
2. What is the worst realistic outcome? Not the worst imaginable one.
3. What do I not know that is making it feel bigger?
4. Is there a smaller first step that does not feel threatening?
5. What will it cost me if I leave it another week?

Make the first step absurdly small

The goal is not to finish the email. It is to open it and write the first line. Set a timer for two minutes and agree with yourself that you may stop when it rings. Most of the time you will not. Starting is the hard bit, and the timer takes the pressure off finishing.

Draft it badly

Perfectionism makes avoided tasks heavier. Write the worst possible first draft, with all the clumsy sentences, then edit. If the message is sensitive, you can draft it in a separate document and paste it across once you are happy.

Borrow some accountability

Tell someone you will send it by a particular time, or set a "send by" slot in your calendar and treat it like a meeting. Make a small reward conditional on it: the tea comes after the email, not before.

You do not need to feel like it. You need to start for two minutes.

When it is more than a habit

Everyone puts things off sometimes. If delay is constant, causes you real distress or affects your work, studies or relationships, it can be worth speaking to your GP. Difficulties with attention, anxiety and low mood can all show up as procrastination, and they are treatable.